I thought it might be a good idea to express why I believe in God and why I am a Christian. I don’t have a fantastically amazing testimony. I don’t even have a semi-interesting testimony. I’ll start a bit from the beginning. Don’t worry, I’ll make it short.
I was adopted when I was just a day old. The adoption was arranged through the Lutheran Church. I was raised in the Lutheran Church and went through confirmation when I was 13. I went to youth group every Wednesday when in High School and brought my friends with me to Youth Group and to service. My best friend’s funeral was performed in my church because she came with me to youth group and to service. I was no stranger to the Bible or the word of God.
I left home and went to college and found myself falling into worldly views. I found myself cursing, and just not doing all the right things. I didn’t do absolutely horrible things. I didn’t commit major crimes. I didn’t do drugs. I didn’t drink. Never saw the purpose, just seemed a waste of time. Besides, just smelling alcohol gave me a migraine, so why would I drink it? I found myself married to a man that I really wasn’t thrilled with, but I was in my late 20s and told that I’d never find a good man and this one would be a great provider for me. So, I married him, and that’s when his true colors came out. While he never hit me, I was mentally and emotionally abused. He raised his hand at me once and when he saw the look on my face, he knew that if he followed through with that, he’d lose all chances at the Top Secret Security Clearance that he wanted so badly. After being told for the millionth time that I didn’t know anything, had no clue what I wanted and that it was my fault that he was attracted to other women, I finally had the courage to leave him. My family thought I was insane for doing so. What they didn’t know is that he had been asked to leave his job for unethical practices and the job that he had just found was because a friend of mine took pity on him and got him the job and interview. They also didn’t know about the abuse. But the found out soon enough when he wouldn’t stop harassing them. He would call them at all hours of the night or day to tell them what a horrible person I was and that I was self-destructive. You get the picture.
A little more than a month after I left him, I started dating the man that I am now married to and let me tell you it was the best thing I ever did. I will state that he was not a believer at that time. We went about our lives, rather happy. We decided to build our dream home. This is when we got tested over and over again.
I’ll step back a little here, and comment that during all this time, I rarely went to church. I was one of those annoying Christmas and Easter participants. They were the only days my ex-husband would ‘allow’ me to go. He refused to go with me, and was truly the only time I got to spend with my family without him trying to rush me out the door. So, I made sure I still went then. So, I became pregnant with my oldest child and started to feel the Holy Spirit move within me. Since my new husband wasn’t a believer, I just waited.
Fast forward to when we moved, the house we built, and the tribulations we went through with that. During all this time, my husband and I joined a crayfish forum (hubby wanted to be a a crayfish farmer) and met a wonderful woman from Georgia. This woman happens to attend Sherwood Baptist Church. You may have heard of them through the movies they do: Fly Wheel, Facing the Giants, Fireproof, and Courageous. She came out with her husband for a convention and gave R the first two movies, the other two had not been made yet. He thanked her and put them on the shelf. Meanwhile, I was still feeling a pull from the Holy Spirit.
This pull is hard to explain. It was a feeling, an overwhelming feeling that kept steering me in different directions, whether I wanted to be there or not. I knew that my kids needed a proper moral foundation, and knew that normal worldly views were not the right thing to do for their benefit. I silently prayed about it, because it felt right. Now, before you say “That’s what you were raised with.” You’re wrong. My family didn’t do that. We said our meal time prayer and sometimes our bedtime prayer, but it was always the same prayer. But now, it felt right to just talk to God. I hadn’t felt that before.
Fast forward a little more and R was having a very hard time. He couldn’t find a job and we were close to losing our dream house. He put in Facing the Giants because he knew it was probably a feel good movie and he needed something uplifting. He enjoyed the movie and put it back on the shelf. The next day he still needed something uplifting, so watch Fly Wheel. Half way through the movie, he was on his knees asking for forgiveness. That’s when I got the call. I was working and my phone rang with R asking if I could talk. He said he had just given his life to Christ and wanted to start going to church. I asked him what took him so long and we started looking at our options. Our oldest was in Kindergarten at that time and we knew that her teacher came up to this area to help with the youth ministry at the church that a friend of his was a pastor. We decided to try there. The normal pastor (his friend) was on vacation so we actually heard one of the elders instead. Very passionate man. We decided to go back again the next week and hear the normal Pastor and it was fantastic. He spoke from the Bible and explained it.
Since then, just reading the Bible has increased my love for the Lord and my faith and trust. It makes me want to live in his light and no where else. It’s really an amazing feeling and I pray everyone could feel that love. Even in the times when things are not going great, when things are down right awful, there is still that love. It makes it so much easier to make it through.